Life lessons learned from the lab
Four lessons I learned during my PhD that continue to serve me well
Continuing on the theme of my time in grad school, I thought I would share some life lessons learned from the lab. Earlier this year, I was invited to be the keynote speaker at the Toxicology PhD Program Symposium at my undergrad alma mater, North Carolina State University! My audience was a group of PhD students anywhere in their second year to their sixth year.
When I was in grad school, I heard many keynote lectures, but most of them focused on someone’s time in science where they shared their story and often focused on their love of science. Most of these keynote lectures were from academics and not those who had migrated to industry. While it was inspiring to hear the stories of others, I always yearned for some practical tips of how I could translate their success to my grad school experience, especially since I knew I did not want to continue in academia. In the keynote lecture I gave, I really wanted my message to be for the students and not about me. I vividly remembered being in their shoes when they were in the throes of experiments not working, wondering if they should even be in science, and fearing of the future and what career they would have.
In the keynote, I did discuss my grad school journey and how it led me to my career in medical writing, but the overarching theme of my talk was that the journey of the PhD is the reward. Amusingly, during my own grad school journey I did not put this into practice as much as I should have as my focus most often was on finishing my PhD. I shared four lessons I learned through my PhD (control is elusive, comparison is futile, little steps add up, resiliency is a gift) and encouraged the PhD students to consider what they are learning now and that those skills will be transferable to whatever career they pursue! I wanted to unpack each of these lessons a little more as they have continued to serve me well in my two years in the professional world post-PhD.
1. Control is elusive
Life is truly out of our control and this is extremely apparent in grad school when the experiments you plan and prepare for so meticulously do not work, the cells you fed over the weekend decide to give up and die, and your ideal timeline for finishing a PhD is pushed back unexpectedly because of experiments or a global pandemic.
One of the undergrads I worked with during my PhD once asked me why I was in science if I had a hard time with things not working and my experiments being out of my control. She asked a very good question and it caused me to seriously ponder. I could see time and time again in my PhD how I railed against not being in control, but those times where things felt out of control were the ones that most grew me as a person as I had to be patient and wait.
So much of our lives are full of uncertainty and this lesson of control being elusive is just as true in my professional and personal life in the two years post-PhD as it was during grad school. Unexpected requests roll in at work and require me to pivot to something new and surprises come up in life that I could not plan for. But, similar to my PhD, the times where I am not in control definitely grow me more times than when I feel ‘in control.’ A lot of that is due to my increased reliance on God during those times, but there is also some peace in realizing that I am not self-sufficient, need help, and cannot do everything on my own.
2. Comparison is worthless
In science, you have to define your variables and if you are comparing two things, the base variables need to be the same. A 3rd year grad student cannot be compared to a 5th year grad student because their projects, advisor, and timeline are different. I fell into this trap time and again in grad school as I observed other grad students putting more hours into their experiments than I did and then worrying that I should mimic their work habits. But people are wired differently and I knew that I could not work 50+ hour weeks on the regular because that was not sustainable for me in the long run.
This is another principle that is generally true in life as well. It is so easy to play the comparison game with others on every level - work, marriage, parenting, clothing, etc, but comparison only serves to bring discontent knocking on your door and potential bitterness towards the person you are comparing yourself against. Comparison truly serves no purpose. I wrote about 1 Corinthians 7:17 (“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him”) in an article earlier this year about miscarriage and this verse is often on my mind when I am tempted to compare. In these times of temptation, I try to take a step back and ask where does God have me right now and is this where He wants me? The answer is not always yes, but it helps reaffirm in my heart why what I am doing may be different from others and reminds me that being different is not wrong or bad, it is just different.
3. Little steps add up
The constant refrain in the lab from my grad school PI was ‘little by little.” She told us that our PhD was made up of little steps over time as experiments added up. Even when we knew an experiment would not work, she would encourage us to finish the experiment to see if we could still learn something even if that something was just honing our ability to do a specific technique better. At the end of my PhD, I could truly see how those little day by day moments and experiments added up to create my PhD, but I definitely could not see that in the moment.
When I am faced with a difficult situation or job now I remind myself of my PhD and the mantra of little by little. I try to apply this mindset in so many areas of my life. When I receive edits back on a manuscript at work I cannot tackle every piece of feedback at once; I have to methodically, little by little work through each edit calmly and completely. In the gym, viewing my whole workout plan for the day can be daunting, but if I just focus on the next repetition it is much easier to keep the momentum going. Even on Saturdays when I tend to have a long to-do list, gradually working through it versus sitting and thinking about it in its entirety helps avoid being overwhelmed.
4. Resiliency is a gift
Talk to any STEM PhD student and they could list off their failures for hours. Typically, you would not expect this demographic to have dealt with failure and you are right since many STEM PhDs did extremely well in school, but the world of science does not work like the world of academics. A machine could be down at a critical juncture in an experiment, you could use the wrong water when extracting RNA from cells, or even something as little as forgetting to spray a pipette before bringing it into the cell culture hood could contaminate a whole incubator of cells. Since failure occurs so often in a PhD you learn how to acknowledge failure and move on - you learn to be resilient.
Failure is inherent to grad school and is really inherent to life. But from experiencing failure, I know how to look failure in the face, acknowledge the hard, and move on. This has served me so well in my career thus far. No person can make everyone happy all the time (trust me, I have tried), and especially in the professional world, clients always have suggestions of what can be made better and family and friends have ideas of how you should live your life. When things in life do not work, I can now pick myself up and keep going little by little instead of being completely decimated by getting feedback from someone that something I am doing is not working.
Reflecting on my PhD
As I come up on my two years in industry, it is amusing how much time I am spending reflecting on grad school. When I left the lab I was so ready to move on and did not want to spend time in reflection and it has only been in the last year that I have opened that box in my brain. I am extremely grateful I wrote extensively both on my blog and in my journal during my time in grad school as it has given me a window into my brain and feelings during that tumultuous time. I continue to anticipate this reflection to continue the longer I am out of the academic environment and I am thankful that I can now see a lot of the lessons I learned during my PhD that are a benefit to me now.