Sacrificing social media
How 'no social media Saturdays' helped unburden my brain
Starting a newsletter reminds me of the poignant Michael Scott quote:
“Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't know where it's going. I just hope to find it somewhere along the way.”
As I embark on this new commitment to write every other week whether I feel like it or not, it’s easy to be caught up into the details of who my audience is, what I hope to accomplish, and the ultimate goal of having a newsletter. However, I think these detailed questions, while good to consider, distract me from the practice of writing for writing’s sake.
I’m a firm believer in the sentiment that nothing good/worthwhile in life comes easily, and that great things grow out of dedication, commitment, and small steps over time. The PI (principal investigator) of my grad school lab constantly quoted ‘little by little’ to us and she was right - each day, each week, and each month over the course of 5.5 years my PhD was built. My desire to write consistently is a worthy goal, but one that must be backed up by action. Discussion at a writing workshop I attended yesterday backed up this sentiment as we were encouraged to hone our craft, while acknowledging that not everything we write is going to be great. Greatness comes about through small steps.
One way that I am prioritizing the process of writing is by taking Saturdays off of social media. The wife of the couple who leads our care group at church recently encouraged me to consider taking time off of social media to avoid comparing myself/my current life situation to others. At the time, I thought I had a good grasp of my social media usage since I limited my time on certain apps. However, the more I dwelt on my friend’s recommendation, I realized that even though I may not spend a lot of time on any one app, I was constantly reaching for my phone in free moments to mindlessly scroll. During the weekday, this habit was not as much of an issue because I have something pressing (work) to prevent me from doing this. But on the weekends when I tend to have more free time I would turn to my phone in moments of boredom instead of doing the things I looked forward to doing all week.
I tend to gravitate towards my phone in times of emotional distress or boredom - both of which demonstrate a desire for distraction. Distraction feels great in the moment, but afterwards leaves a sour taste in your mouth. On Sunday evenings when I would reflect on my weekend, the overwhelming feeling would be that I could have utilized my time better. This sentiment was due less to the actual amount of time spent on my phone, but instead a mourning of the time I did not spend sorting through my myriad of emotions/feelings because I chose to chase distraction instead of putting in the hard work to address my mental state.
In February, my husband and I went on a Caribbean cruise and did not have internet on the ship. We both were excited to not be beholden to our phones and have the freedom to leave them in airplane mode. Not having that distraction led us to have great conversations, connect more meaningfully, and also opened my eyes that something needed to change in my phone usage upon our return.
For the past month and a half, Instagram has been a no-go for me on Saturdays. I have nothing against Instagram and it’s the main social media app I use, however, it is somewhat like a gateway app for me - once I’m scrolling through Instagram and my timer runs out, I want to continue scrolling, so I’ll just switch apps. Removing Instagram completely from my Saturdays has helped me stop picking up my phone to mindlessly scroll.
Surprisingly, every Saturday I am excited to not be on social media. There’s a freedom in that choice that truly unburdens my mind to ponder and muse, connecting ideas I’ve listened to/read over the past week/weeks and allowing me to work through worries/fears that are on repeat in my brain. Ultimately, this ‘sacrifice’ has allowed me to devote that time and attention spent scrolling to instead write. Most of the newsletters you read, I expect I will be writing on Saturdays when I have dedicated brain space. Another side effect of no social media Saturdays is that Sundays tend to result in a lower volume of social media usage as well. When you stop something cold turkey, it’s hard to go back to the same amount you were consuming it before.
Social media definitely has its place in my life as I have many friends and family members who do not live near me and that I connect with online. But, I am thankful for the reminder that there is utility and worthiness in putting social media aside every so often. Giving up social media for an hour, a day, or a season is a form of fasting in our digital age that I relish and has brought me better and deeper connection with others. It’s also worthwhile because it’s allowing me to do something else I have not previously made the time for and helping me address the underlying mental currents that drive me to the distraction of social media in the first place.