Rushing through life
Looking back on a lifetime of rushing
While 30,000 feet in the air flying from Raleigh to Washington, DC on a work trip a few months ago, I realized that in that moment that I was stuck. I could not do anything to make us go faster. We would be at our destination when we were at our destination. I could choose to be antsy about what was next or enjoy the moments I had to sit back and enjoy the plane ride and not look ahead to the plane landing and what was next on my itinerary.
To follow up on my previous Substack about my personal drive for accomplishment/hustle culture, I wanted to discuss the concept of rushing and striving towards the next thing as over the years I have had a desire to rush through life.
In high school, I wanted to be in college. In college, I wanted to be married and in grad school. In grad school, I wanted to be finished with my PhD and working in a job. I was always looking ahead and had a hard time focusing on right now.
In the last year and a half since graduating, I have more been content with where I am in work and life and also realized how often I purposefully missed out on enjoying what was right in front of me because of my pursuit of the next thing. While this realization is front of mind and something I am very aware of, it is still difficult to be in the moment, slow down, and be present.
Being a goal-oriented person (see previous Substack on me being an accomplishment addict), it is very easy for me to hyperfocus on reaching a certain point. Once that point is reached, I immediately move on to the next thing in a constant forward focus. Even this weekend, as my husband and I are away in the mountains, I have caught myself thinking about our next vacation and planning/working towards that even though I should be enjoying the moment of right now.
I believe contentment plays a big part in this. When I have a particular focus on being content with what is in front of me, it is easier to enjoy every element in my life and not keep striving forward. As mentioned in a prior Substack about my summer reads, this summer I am reading The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs together with a woman from my church. I do not want to give away all my thoughts on the book as I will do a summer reads recap in August, but this book has been a fantastic and challenging read. Every page I am reminded how discontent I am by little things and as Burroughs challenges: “to be well skilled in the mystery of Christian contentment is the duty, glory, and excellence of a Christian.” Reading this book has been a fantastic reminder to be content with what the Lord has for me today.
Another element of my striving, is that I believe the next thing in life will be better than what is in front of me right now - whether that is the next vacation, a new life stage, or even a meal I am excited about. This belief is not necessarily a ‘grass is greener on the other side idea,’ but a desire to optimize my life to bring me the most joy, happiness, and dopamine possible. Thus, I chase the next thing and think it will satisfy me even if I just enjoyed a good thing.
I do not have a solution to this difficulty of always striving and rushing towards the next thing little or big besides running to God who always satisfies and thanking Him for His gifts. As a Christian, I understand that nothing will satisfy me but God, so this struggle of mine is a stark reminder of this fact. Turning my focus to thankfulness for the little things has helped immensely as I acknowledge they are gifts from God. My morning coffee, the shade at my house, and the ability to work from home are little things that I regularly thank God for because they bring me joy.
As I look back on my 27 years of life, I can see many examples where I was excited for what was next and lost sight of the good of the moment. When I am 80 years old, I do not want to reflect on my life and see this striving for the future mark my years. I want to be nostalgic for the moments I was fully present in with the people that I love.
Another thought provoking post Emma. This has been a theme for me these past few months as I have recalibrated to home life again after focusing on work. It does take intentionality to stay in the moment. I appreciate your articulation of how it relates to being content in Christ. Hope you enjoyed the mountains too!
So glad you are learning this so young! It took me far too long to figure this out. "Today" is our gift and we should spend it as carefully and intentionally as we do our finances. It's a discipline, a mindset. It doesn't come naturally to most of us. Thank you so much for sharing your heart lessons with us! Love you, friend.